The Mondy Party

The Economic Times is read by people who run the country

The Hindu is read by people who think they run the country

The Telegraph is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crosswords

The Times of India is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The Hindu. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts with colour photos.

The Statesman is read by people whose parents used to run the country and they did a very poor job of it, thank you very much.

The Hindustan Times is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a free ride going anywhere

The Indian Express is read by people who don't care who's running the country, as long as they do something scandalous, preferably for a secret camera

The Asian Age is read by people who aren't sure what they mean by a country or that anyone is running it, but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are statesmanlike, imaginary pragmatists who also happen to be 'real Indians' as long as they promote some kind of freedom

The Pioneer is read by people trapped in a line at the railway station